


Baby Boom

by huntersandangels



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 23:24:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huntersandangels/pseuds/huntersandangels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not that Jonny had a problem with kids. No, he loved kids.  His problem was, as always, associated with one Patrick Kane, who had apparently caught the baby fever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Boom

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by the fact that recently babies have taken over my life and apparently babies in general are fighting for world domination. 
> 
> In reality I don't know what this is, don't even ask!
> 
> Un-beta'd once again, feel free to point out any mistakes.

 

Babies…toddlers…pre-schoolers…everywhere! Jonny was fairly certain there was a conspiracy going on and the little ones were planning on taking over Chicago.

 

It’s not that he had any problem with kids, he loved kids. Surprisingly, he got along with them greatly, be it with his cousins or his teammates’ kids, who were multiplying awfully fast (Jonny was positive that the take over would be their fault!), even children unrelated to him. So, yeah, Jonny really liked kids. Especially babies, babies were cute (even if a little whining) and had a consistent schedule which Jonny greatly appreciated.

 

 His problem was, as most of his problems, associated with one Patrick Kane. Patrick had caught the baby fever. It started with Duncs’ new baby, followed by Brent’s and Sharpy’s babies to come. And it was far worse this time than when Abby first had Maddy.

 

 That’s how Jonny found himself spending his afternoon in Baby Gap, running around the isles chasing after Patrick who apparently, and un-surprisingly, was a giant 5-year-old who had just found his paradise.

 

“Look Jonny! Look! Isn’t this the cutest thing ever?” he’d say about three times a minute and would wave something in Jonny’s direction. He found everything cute, adorable or dinky!

 

He’d go through the labels meticulously making sure that the stuffed toys were washable, the painted ones were lead-free and the art materials were non-toxic. Jonny would have been proud of his maturity and intense knowledge if he wasn’t one step from going insane! Because Patrick had, of course, wanted to share his wisdom with Jonny and wouldn’t shut up!

 

Jonny contemplated shoving a pacifier in Patrick’s mouth to keep him quiet for just a moment but images of Patrick’s lips and tongue and sucking flashed before his eyes and Jonny opted not to because inappropriate boners caused by his best friend’s mouth was not something he could handle at that moment.

 

A hit in the back of his head by a flying foam pellet from a Nerf gun shook him off his haze.

 

“PATRICK!” he yelled in annoyance and turned around only to be faced with a Patrick with a shit-eating grin on his face and be hit in the chest by one more pellet.

 

“Patrick, STOP!” he warned but Patrick just grinned wider, stuck his tongue out and re-loaded his toy gun and fired. That shot just grazed Jonny in the shoulder and made Patrick pout.

 

“Oh, this is WAR!” Jonny exclaimed not being able to bare Patrick’s falling face and grabbed his own gun.

 

They chased each other in the isles shooting pellets all over the place. Patrick was quick and sneaky but Jonny gave him a run for his money and took two consecutive successful shots on Patrick’s torso.

 

“I’m SuperKane! Your mundane weapons have no affect on me!” Patrick shouted and turned to run when he bumped into the store’s security guy.

 

“I’m sorry sirs but I’m afraid this kind of behaviour is not allowed in the store” the guard scolded.

 

Jonny turned bright red “I’m… We’re… We’re sorry” he muttered. Patrick just stood there looking sullen that someone had interrupted his fun.

 

“I’ll have to ask you to follow me to the register, pay for your toys and make your exit” the security guard continued, looking from Jonny to Pat and back to Jonny again.

 

“Ehm… Yes… Yes of course” Jonny mumbled “Again, we’re…we’re very sorry” he said as he grabbed the toys along with their cart and dragged Patrick by the sleeve towards the cash register.

 

Patrick tried to protest but a Jonny trademark death glare stopped him cold. They paid in silence; Jonny apologized once again and elbowed Patrick to do so as well. Patrick grumbled a half-ass apology and walked to Jonny’s car with his head down. All through the car drive he looked outside his window and bit his lip worried about the lecture that was due to come.

 

 

 

Jonny was a bit angry but mostly because he got so embarrassed at being chastised by the security guard and be escorted all through the register than for the havoc they raised. He had no intention to admit it out loud but he did actually have fun.

 

But when Patrick took a sit on his couch and looked like the death penalty sentence was about to be enforced upon him he just sat beside him and nudged his shoulder. Patrick raised his gaze towards him reluctantly and took a deep breath.

 

Jonny gave him a lopsided smile “That was kind of fun” he said. Patrick snickered “Dude, it was _awesome_!” he exclaimed and they both giggled.

 

 

*

 

 

Jonny didn’t know why he thought that Patrick’s baby related madness would subside after the store visit. He should have known better.

 

After two consecutive afternoons spent in the presence of Maddy and Colton Patrick’s condition worsened. Jonny even thought at one brief moment that it might be contagious. Mostly due to the fact that the image of Patrick holding Colton in his arms made his stomach flip in a weird way. He immediately shook his head and decided it was the early warnings of the flu and took two aspirins just to be safe.

 

In retrospect he decided he should have taken something stronger because upon hearing Patrick exclaim “I want a baby!” he knew there was no way he’d get out of that conversation without some kind of damage; possibly to his head, most certainly to his heart.

 

“Ehm… what?” he managed and tried to look anything less than shocked and mortified.

 

“I said: I want a baby” Patrick repeated.

 

“Yeah, I got that the first time Kaner” he replied in his precious monotone that everyone made fun of but Jonny valued (it always got him out of having to show his feelings when he didn’t want to so yay for that!)

 

“So, what was with the ‘what’ then?” Patrick said sounding a bit defensive. Jonny didn’t have time to answer as Patrick continued “You know what? Nevermind! I guess I know how this conversation is going to go and if I wanted that I would have called my mother!” he said and stood up to leave.

 

Jonny grabbed him by his arm. Patrick struggled to get free while going on a ramble.

 

“Save it, okay? I don’t want an ‘you’re immature Patrick, you can’t even take care of yourself Patrick, just a year ago you were a drunken failure Patrick’ speech okay? I’ve heard everything before! Just let me go!”

 

Jonny held on tighter letting him know there was no way out of it.

 

 “Hey, hey I was just startled okay?” he said softly and managed to sit Patrick back down. “I don’t know where that bullshit came from but I never, not once thought like that about you, okay? Ever!” he said sternly.

 

Pat said nothing but seemed to relax a little so Jonny let go of his arm.

 

 “So, you want a baby”, Jonny stated trying to sound serious (alert the media! Jonny found a situation where he deliberately tried to sound _serious_! What has the world come to!)

 

“Yeah” Patrick replied somewhat more reluctantly.

 

“As in someday or as in now?” Jonny asked.

 

“I… I don’t know.” Patrick admitted. “It’s just like, everyone, and I mean _everyone_ is having a baby!”

 

Jonny wanted to say that just because everyone is doing it it’s not a valid reason for Patrick to have one but he knew better not to say it out loud.

 

“I’m not having one” he said instead.

 

Patrick, Jonny thought, looked a little worried. “As in never?” he asked tentatively.

 

“What? No!” Jonny proclaimed as if even the thought pained him “I mean as in right now. You said everyone is but I’m not”

 

Patrick visibly relaxed “Duh! And since we’re stating the obvious the sun is yellow and the sky is blue” he mocked sounding more like himself again.

 

“Shut up Kaner!” Jonny replied but it didn’t have much bite to it.

 

“So, you want kids? Like, someday?” Patrick asked again.

 

“Of course I do” came Jonny’s reply in a heartbeat “but I’m still young and there’s hockey and…” he paused for a moment “…and you know, you have to find the right person” he concluded.

 

Jonny couldn’t decipher Patrick’s tone when he asked “And, you know, you…haven’t? ... Found the right person that is.”

 

Something in Jonny cracked. He wanted to yell at him and tell him he’s a moron; that he had found him a long time ago, he just couldn’t _get_ him. He wanted to plead with Patrick to love Jonny the way Jonny loved him, unconditionally and eternally. He wanted to tell him that for Patrick, Jonny would throw all cautiousness and logic out of the window. He wanted to get down on one knee and propose right on the spot; drag Pat to City Hall and marry him right that instant and adopt a bunch of babies and even move to Patrick’s house in Buffalo if that’s what he wanted and buy hideous matching ‘19’ ‘88’ carpets for their room.

 

He settled for an “It’s complicated” because he couldn’t outright lie to him.

 

“How so?” Patrick asked and Jonny cursed under his breath for Patrick’s inability to let things go.

 

“Damn it Kaner! It’s just is! Can’t you just let it go?” he said burying himself further into the couch.

 

Patrick raised his hands defensively “Hey, sorry man!” he said “I didn’t mean to pry. Just, you know, if you ever… if you want to talk about it I’m here okay?”

 

Jonny punched his shoulder lightly “Thanks buddy” he said and gave Pat a strained smile.

 

There was a long pause, kind of an uncomfortable silence until Jonny asked “Mario Kart?” and Patrick settled into position to “kick Jonny’s ass” as he put it.

 

There was no more baby talk for the remaining afternoon.

 

*

 

Jonny woke up to the sound of his doorbell going off like crazy. He looked at his alarm clock and was startled to see that it was three am. He panicked! He put on his sweatpants and a t-shirt and rushed to the door. He was greeted by a wild looking Patrick that shoved him inside and closed the door behind him.

 

“What the hell Kaner? It’s three am dude, what’s wrong?” he asked semi-concerned, semi-frustrated to be woken up in the middle of the night.

 

“Iwantababy” Patrick blurted

 

Jonny was seriously getting angry now! He restrained himself with all his might to not ask Patrick if he was drunk. “What the fuck? We had that discussion no more than ten hours ago Kaner. You want a baby, I know! why do I have to hear it again at ass-o’clock in the night?”

 

Patrick hesitated for a moment. He took a deep breath and as Jonny was about to lose his patience and throw him out (yeah, Jonny wouldn’t fool anyone with that empty threat) he said in one breath.

 

“Because… because I know you said your situation or whatever is complicated but I think that’s bullshit! I say fuck them! Okay? whatever the deal is… they don’t deserve you! And I might not either but I’m willing to try! Because I’ve already found my person, and my person is you! I love you! I have for a very long time! And I never told you because I was scared but I don’t want to be scared anymore, okay? And I can wait, okay? It can be now or five years from now or whenever you’re ready. Because… because I want a baby with my blond curls and your stupid nose and my blue eyes and your unfathomably irritating yet somewhat totally attractive surly expression. And I didn’t know how to tell you, and I still might have just fucked everything up but I can’t just stand here doing nothing while watching you find your person. Because… because I’M your person Jonny, okay? Or… or at least I can be if you let me. That’s why!”

 

Jonny’s face had the most soft and fond expression on. The one he tried to contain every time he talked about Patrick but a portion of it always slipped away. He wore it openly now as he approached Patrick and cupped his cheek tenderly.

 

“You’re my person” he whispered against Patrick’s lips before capturing them in a tender kiss.

 

Patrick exhaled in relief. “Yeah?” he asked needing to hear it again just to be sure.

 

“You’ve always been my person” Jonny said and sealed his declaration with another quick kiss.

 

Patrick chased Jonny’s mouth when he tried to get away and Jonny happily obliged.

 

When they came up for air both grinning foolishly at each other, Jonny took Patrick’s hand.

 

“Come on, bed now! We’ll talk tomorrow” he said and led Patrick to his bedroom.

 

They shed their clothes quickly and lied down. Jonny pulled him to his chest and held him by the waist. Patrick let out a content sigh and hid his face in the crook of Jonny’s neck leaving a small kiss there.

 

Jonny petted his hair and left a kiss on his curls as he held him closer.

 

“Jonny?” Patrick whispered.

 

“Sleep time Patrick” Jonny said trying to sound authoritarian and failing.

 

A heartbeat later Patrick once again whispered “Jonny?”

 

Jonny tried to hide a small smirk “five years Pat” he replied quietly.

 

Patrick’s smile against his neck was the last thing Jonny felt before falling asleep.

 

 


End file.
